Whether she sees it or not, Obie’s box-checking appeals to Zoya’s need to self-style as an activist with pins and props, too, especially now she’s regularly attending (and even co-hosting) New York’s biggest parties. For all those who dismissed 2021’s Gossip Girl as a ‘woke’ reboot, the show has (mostly) undermined the performativity of these characters’ politics, whether it’s the wealthy white boy, Julien’s ‘filter free’ posts or Zoya getting sucked into a vapid world she wants to hate but increasingly loves. Simon also accelerates the tensions in Zoya and Obie’s relationship, as she openly questions whether she’s “just another box to check in your performative solidarity”. But his point still stands, and subtly mirrors Kate’s inner conflict: for someone who acts above the drama, Zoya sure does pay it a lot of attention. Turns out he’s a journalist with a theory that Zoya runs Gossip Girl – after all, she is a literary-minded fish out of water, just like Dan Humphrey.

Zoya questions her own relationship to Gossip Girl too, after she meet-cutes a handsome and social-media-free student, Simon. While the show doesn’t spell it out, one imagines this is how committees at tech platforms might feel about the hate speech and misinformation perpetuated by their users on their sites. Kate (Tavi Gevinson) lets herself be convinced by her fellow educators that they personally don’t bear any responsibility, in order to (momentarily) feel better. She takes down Gossip Girl to refind her morals before reinstating it by episode’s end, writing that it’s merely “a mirror” of that one follower’s ugliness. Teacher and Gossip Girl admin Kate Keller also makes it about her, as the attempted shooter named the account as one reason for his attack. Zoya and Julien in ‘Gossip Girl’ episode 5. Julien’s squad are mostly worried how the almost-shooting will offer pity points to the sisters’ main competition, basic influencers Pippa and Bianca (Ella Rubin, Katherine Reis), who take advantage of the attempted attack to self-promote during tearful Instagram Lives.

Gossip Girl doesn’t belabour the point, but it’s astonishingly dark how quickly these characters will centre themselves in the wake of a near-tragedy. But they’re all background noise for this week’s delightfully juvenile drama: Julien and Zoya’s burning need to win best Halloween couples’ costume (at, in classic Gossip Girl fashion, Bette Midler’s annual Hulaween party. There’s gun violence, teacher grooming, Audrey’s mum’s overdose and undercover journalists pulling a Never Been Kissed for a scoop. On paper, this week’s plot-lines reek of after-school special. With the script loosening up, Gossip Girl episode five is its most fun one so far – which is a little surprising given it begins with a narrowly avoided shooting at another school on the Upper East Side. Aving now established Gossip Girl’s new world order (aka now with Instagram and mentions of Gaten Matarazzo), the HBO Max reboot spends its fifth episode finally getting down and dirty: characters fling mud and act suspect without immediately apologising so they can start afresh the following week.

The act season 1 episode 5